Square.

It turns out, I am more of a square than I thought, and I am okay with that. Finally.

My brain works at the pace of lightening, not in a good way but in a I think really fast and make decisions really fast, way. My mind is immediately always drawn to something dramatic and drastic, I guess because I actually think with emotions instead of logic.

In just over a week I was supposed to be jetting off on the experience of a lifetime, a year long working holiday in New Zealand. I made the decision to go in such a snap because well, I thought it was adventurous and bold and the only thing available. I was excited and jittery and a bit nervous until about two months before hand. Then panic set in... I am halfway through my degree, I'm pretty broke, I still get homesick and I have to sleep with the hall light on. Am I really ready to jet off to a tiny island where I know no one?

It was more than cold feet, it was my brain kicking in and over riding my crazy wild dreamy emotions. I'll be honest, it's one of the first times!

It wasn't the right time to go, and it will be one day, but it isn't now. I need to finish my degree, after all I do love learning. I need to have more security and stability for a bit, after all I've never stayed in any one place very long. And I need to realize it's okay to be a bit of a square sometimes.

I will always be adventurous and crave travelling, but sometimes I just need to calm down and have adventures right where I am. I don't have to always be so bold and daring to lead an exciting life. In fact, my new plans are are far more exciting to me and feel so right.

It's okay to be a square.