The creation of a place called home

Well in just a few hours I will be making the epic journey, the epic journey down the winding mountain roads mixed with pine trees and cactuses in a blue honda with my best friend( aka sister) to the valley of the sun( aka the valley of holy crap it's burning hot) while listening to a mix CD and our ridiculous banter on everything hilarious in life, to see my loving family and a musical. : ) Oh dear, that sentence is a run on at it's finest, but hey, that tends to be how I think and write... in run ons. Please don't suggest I read Faulkner because of this, oh please just don't.

Woah, I am just so excited right now... I can hardly contain myself! Home, I'm going home! Okay seriously, when did I become Dorothy in real life?

But I don't care, home, home sounds so... inviting! As we grow up our homes change, we go from dorms to apartments to new apartments to town houses to houses to who knows what. Home is ever changing. I imagine in my life my home is going to be a suitcase and the mass amounts of people I interact with all over the world, but that's just me. And that sounds far more fantastic than a white picket fence right now! But just for a second let's think about home in the matter we think of home when we are children. Bear with the nostalgia that is oozing out of every pore in my body right now.

Lately, I have wanted to go home so badly- I think I almost started needing home more than anything. I feel like I am at an age where I am going to start not being able to get home so easily- well home as in where the family I grew up with is- and that is a really odd thing to think about. I am so excited to create my own life...but that's it...childhood is now just a sight behind me in the distance and I know I can never back track to where it is. I'll never again run into my parents bed at 10 pm (and yeah that is the middle of the night when we are 8) because I am so scared of the dreams I am having. I'll never again get to stand next to my mom while she bakes, just barely looking over the edge of the counter while standing on a stool, waiting to get to lick the batter off the beater... please no short jokes- I'm 5'2" not a midget. I will never again get to sit and chat about everything with my dad while he shines his inky black military shoes for work in the morning. I can't go back in time....but I can look forward to all the new experiences to come.

It just feels almost as if soon I will become my own entity... my own separate entity from my parents and the life I have known. I mean I have always been an individual, but when we grow up and separate ourselves from what home has been for our whole life... it is a feeling that I can not describe with words on a page. And I in no way mean home as in the building where we grew up, because as you all know, I have spent my entire life traveling and moving with my family. Although, I understand that a building can have sentimental value to a family, I just don't know how that feels.

I feel like I need to take the opportunity to be at home as much as I can... while it is still my one home. I mean, truthfully, I know I will always be able to call it home, but it will never again be my home once I leave, it will be my families home. I have to create my own home. I have to not only form my own life but my own home( in every aspect that the word means to me.)

But for now, for this weekend, and the many to come, I am going to take advantage of my home before things change. Because that is all we can do... enjoy home... and then create home. And the good news is, creating is just as exciting as enjoying, if not more so! Well, maybe not more, it's just completely different.

I hope that everyone takes advantage of their home, before they create a new one. Because time flies and things change- and it's exciting and adventurous and it's right- but it's fast and it's never the same again.

We can't go back and relive our childhood, but we can look forward to the fact that we get to become the master creators of our own homes one day. Because it isn't so much building a home as it is so truly creating one. I am the painter, the sculptor, the musician, the writer, the graffiti artist, the actor, the dancer, and the general artist of my life- and I can't wait to create a home.